I accept your thoughts and prayers

prayer-13-04-3We’ve seen the posts and heard the words. “Thoughts and prayers for Orlando.” The same sentiments were shared after the tragic events in Sandy Hook, Aurora, Wisconsin, Oregon and elsewhere. While the words are meant to comfort, too often they anger the people who need the comfort the most.

Why do they create so much division? I have often wondered; I always considered prayer a gesture of empathy. If somebody says they are praying for me, it’s proof that they care. Others, however, don’t see it that way. Prayer, to them, is just and empty gesture that won’t do anything to solve the problem. It comes across as a hollow gesture when many feel that religion has played a role in creating the problem. I get that, and I don’t want to downplay those feelings; being let down too often can lead to those real, raw emotions of abandonment.

Prayer for me, however, has always been more than just words. I was taught to pray for understanding. When I see a person offering prayers for the people of Orlando, I believe they will be searching for understanding. They want answers of how something so horrible could happen and what more they can do to help. Those are tough questions to answer without some sort of prayer or meditation.

When I was taught to pray, I was told to pray for guidance–to discover what I should do next. It was up to me, however, to search for ideas and meditate on which of the proposed solutions would be best.

Whatever the answer, prayer requires me to follow up with action.

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So, when people offer prayers after tragedies like Orlando, I have hope. I have hope that people who don’t understand the pain and anxiety this has created in the LGBTQ community seek to for empathy. I hope that they pray to find out what they can do to help the victims of this horrible crime. I hope they search for what they can do to avoid more tragedies.

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Their prayers give me hope that there will be at least one more ally joining our fight for acceptance and equality.

When others get angry because of your offers of prayer, don’t despair, just pray to understand their hearts. Yes, prayer does have a way of softening hearts, but it usually changes the person who prays first. As we pray, we will learn how to better reach out to those who are in pain, and that is what we all need.

 

 

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Too Late

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I had some strong impressions last week to do some writing for this blog. Over the past year, I had witnessed an increasing number of rants against LGBT people posted in my social media feeds. Whether I saw hateful memes or links to other angry blog posts about public restrooms, boycotting businesses or how confused and sick we are, I remained quiet. I fooled myself into believing that those authors of hate would stop if I choose not to join in the argument.

My urge to write again began last week when I saw several people repost a rant about our local Pride Festival. The author of the rant was upset about the rainbow flag flying higher than the U.S. flag at city hall. Although he was correct that this should not have happened, his rant was really a chance for him to go off on how we as LGBT people are ruining the nation. Every friend who passed on that verbal tirade silently confirmed that they do not consider me an equal.

I wanted to write something to respond, but I couldn’t find the right words. I wanted to let them know that every time they pass on an angry rant against any group of people, they are in an indirect way giving support to the lunatics who intentionally hurt those same people. When we say that we agree with somebody’s hateful ideas by posting them in our social media feeds, shouldn’t we think that we are also giving permission to somebody who sees those messages permission to physically harm others?

We suffered a national tragedy yesterday. My heart aches for the lives that have been lost and the many families who now mourn. I am not sure I can do much about this growing problem, but I know that I can influence my little part of the world. From now on, I will speak up whenever I see hateful messaged passed amongst my friends. I will stand up to the hate when I can. My silence didn’t help.

We Don’t Need Another Martyr

This summer has been crazy, and it has left me with so many thoughts swirling through my mind. There are so many of them that I honestly don’t know where to begin. As I have been pondering what to say to begin this blog post, one common question has come to mind: “when did we become such an angry nation?”

As this summer brought more freedoms to more people, I also noticed the increase in popularity of what I will call Angry Christian Bloggers. From political wanna-bes like Mike Huckabee and Sarah Palin to talk show hosts Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh down to Matt Walsh and Joshua Feuerstein, I have seen an explosion of anger across social media sites. It frightens me that the angriest people claim to be Christians.

Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing

Instead of explaining in my own words, I am going to go to the scriptures to support my argument that American Christianity is heading down a dangerous path. After all, the scriptures explain things more clearly and plainly than I ever could.

15. Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. 16. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 17. Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. 18. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. 19Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. 20. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.” – Matthew 7: 15-20.

I see many follow these bloggers and personalities in a cult-like manner. They, to me, have become the false prophets of which we have been warned about since the time of Jesus Christ. Now, I am not saying that any one of the people I mentioned above actually claim to be prophets, but all use their Christian beliefs as a means to build up a following in social media outlets. Unfortunately, their message seems to be one of fear, anger and hate, and it scares me how many followers they have.

22. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23. Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. 24. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. 25. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.” – Galatians 5: 22-26.

If the Spirit speaks to use through all of the peaceful means listed in the scripture from Galatians, what does it mean when these Christian bloggers cause their faithful followers to be fearful and angry? I don’t think that’s Christ’s way.

Not a Hero Nor a Martyr

Now, to the Kim Davis controversy. I think Stephen King stated it best when he tweeted “Kim Davis has gotten exactly what she wanted: martyrdom.

Some believe that the only way you can be a true Christian is if you are persecuted for standing up for your faith, so they find twisted ways to become martyrs in their own minds. Too often this perceived persecution comes to people who treat others in ways contrary to Christ’s teachings. These people aren’t really martyrs; they are simply sowing what they reap.

Let’s make Tuesday a Day of Love

Mike Huckabee and Joshua Feuerstein are gathering the angry mobs to protest Kim Davis’s consequences for refusing to abide by a court order. They are using angry rhetoric and scaring good people into believing that their religious freedoms are being eroded.

I propose we create a counter movement and designate the same day as a Day of Love. Choose a happy color to wear: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo or violet. Share messages of love on your Facebook, Twitter and other social media feeds that day. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or do something to lift others less privileged than yourself. Let’s show the world who really has the spirit of love within their souls.

This is what we experience

To all of my religious friends, I would like to enlist your help. I was browsing through the comments of an online article trying to gauge the feelings a few days since the Supreme Court rulings about marriage. Of course, there were a lot of hateful messages that I just tried to ignore. I realize most of them are just people attempting to troll and create contention, and they aren’t worth any sort of response. Unfortunately, my heart sunk when I read the following post:

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This sort of comment frightens me, and we need to band together and let everyone know we will not tolerate such threats. How can we combat such hate? I don’t consider this comment where somebody suggest all gay people be rounded up and sent to ISIS to be funny, but how do we show the country–the Christians who want their freedom to disagree–to see that these sorts of ideas are still very real and a threat to people’s safety?

What I think we need to do is show people the kind of hate that is really still out there. While I usually don’t ask this with my posts, please help this one go viral. We need to find ways to put an end to such horrible attitudes.

I didn’t celebrate

TempleYesterday was an amazing day. I woke early to do some trail running in the beautiful foothills of the Salt Lake Valley. I planned the run to be early enough in the morning so I could avoid the heat that was forecast to approach close to 100 degrees for the day; I don’t handle heat very well.

After the run, I made a planned stop at the gym to soak my legs and feet in the hot tub before I showered and put on fresh clothes before I headed to the air-conditioned movie theater next door. Summer is my time to catch up on the movies I don’t see the rest of the year, and I don’t mind going to matinees alone.

I then spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon browsing home improvement stores as I made a mental wish list of features I would like to add to my home. As I looked at the different design ideas, my heart longed for a day when I would have somebody with whom I could share my home. Unfortunately, I feel like that day will never come.

As I got into the car to come home, I heard the radio announcers talk about the day’s Supreme Court announcements. I experienced a brief sense of joy, but deep down in my soul was some aching. My aching, you see, is because I knew too well what the reactions of many friends and family members would be.

I was tempted to get on Facebook and Twitter when I got home to read the reactions of others, but something inside me–I will say it could be that still, small voice we are taught about in Primary–that something told me that reading the posts of others would not be good for me on that day. I had the deep impression that I should wait at least a day.

So, June 26 became a social-media-free day for me. I missed out on a few local celebrations, but I spent the remainder of Friday taking care of some home maintenance, reading and planning some future writing projects. I was tempted several times to check up on how others were responding to the day’s news, but I resisted.

Believe what you believe

I waited until after I took a morning walk to open my computer this morning. When I first checked in on Facebook, there were a few jokes about rainbow explosions all over social media, but the lighthearted tone didn’t last very long.

I started seeing post after post from my LDS friends. Very few had comments from the individual who posted, but they were links to articles. Post after post were like needles in my heart, as I read headlines telling me that the people from my church, the kids I knew in school, and even family members truly believe that I don’t deserve the same happiness they take for granted.

Now, I am not going to ask my LDS friends to change their beliefs, but I want to ask them what bombardment of links and quotes posted on social media is meant to accomplish. Perhaps it’s an attempt to reaffirm one’s faith, but isn’t that best done in your home and not on a social media site?

I am sure I am not the only one who has been hurt by the passive-aggressive disapproval of who I am that has been shared so many times in the past 24 hours. I have other friends who have posted on their social media outlets at how disappointed by the angry reactions of friends and family members. I didn’t celebrate because even though the government now recognizes me as a full citizen I now know that too many of the people I love don’t think I should be treated with fairness.

I long for the day when true believers will accept that Jesus atoned for me just as he did for each of them.

I’m Not a Service Project

You invited me
To sit with you on Sunday.
That’s nice.
But why would I want to sit
In a place where most don’t even care if I am there?
Neighbors fill the pews on Sunday
To learn about love and kindness
And then leave the building
Only to ignore me throughout the week
They avert their eyes when I wave during my morning jog
Or look straight ahead as they pass in their cars.

I’m the stranger in a familiar land
The prodigal who has yet to return
A gentile raised as a saint
Shunned for my selfish sins.

It’s hard living on a street where nobody knows your name
They only know me as the gay guy.

I will sit with you
If only I could be fully included.

But I would rather have my neighbors smile when I say hello
Thank me when I shovel snow from their sidewalks
Inquire about my life
And sit with me in the shade of my front porch.

I will sit with you when it isn’t written on your agenda
Part of a special event
Or an assignment from your priesthood leader;
I would rather be loved
Than be your service project.